I remember a big fight I had with my ex that led to our breakup.

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I vaguely remember what the fight was about. What I can clearly remember was feeling completely out of my body. I was so incredibly anxious it was like I vibrated out of my body. All I had was a swirling of thoughts that were on an endless loop that kept me up all night. And the next day, I was a total mess when I met up with a friend to catch up. She spent the whole time helping me to calm down instead of what we had planned to do.

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When you go through a breakup, your nervous system has been hijacked.

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You are having a biological response to this massive change.

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You can’t analyze your way out of a biological response. You can’t talk your way out of it.

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You have to work with yourself on a biological level.

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This means finding ways to self-soothe. Find ways to let yourself know that you are safe, all is well, you are not in any physical danger.

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Yes, it’s an uncomfortable experience, but it’s just unpleasant. I’m not going to take that away from you. But what I want you to know in your bones is this:

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You are ok, and you will be ok.

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Carve out at least 5 minutes every day dedicated to comforting yourself. I give three options in this week’s podcast, and you can get that here.​

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And speaking of the podcast, I”m doing a 6 week series to give practical tips to focus on taking you from stuck on your ex to over it. Subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss a thing over the next 6 weeks. And please feel free to share this with a friend who needs it.

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I’m committed to your healing so that you get over your ex once and for all. And not only will you be over your ex, but you will gain skills that will help you navigate through any future disappointments or heartbreaks you might face. You’ll never feel lost, stuck, or destroyed for months or years ever again.

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