I met a wonderful woman the other night. And she shared that she no longer believed love was possible for her because her last relationship hurt her so badly. Sitting next to her, I could feel the pain. And I could feel how much resentment she had for her ex and how much she was cutting herself off from her feelings.

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And I could see so much of myself in her.

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I had an ex who cheated on me. And what made it worse was that I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right. But he always had a good reason for the odd behavior or I could make up some excuse for him. I always ended up ignoring my intuition. When I learned I had been right, it felt like a double betrayal. His betrayal of my trust and my own betrayal of my self and my inner knowing.

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I resented him for years.

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Easy enough. He cheated on me. That's the definition of a bad guy. End of story.

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Except life isn't simple and it's not black and white. There's no bad guy. I'm not excusing his behavior. He made terrible choices. But our bad choices don't define who we are.

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I was actually the one suffering because I was the one carrying around the resentment and anger. It was poisoning me from the inside out.

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Except I didn't know that's what was happening. I thought I was supposed to resent him because of how badly he hurt me. But there was another option. The other option was to let it go and live without that resentment.

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But I only figured that out in hindsight.

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I figured out how to let go of the resentment by accident. He emailed me to apologize for his behavior. When I read that email, I fell apart into a ball of emotions. I cried and raged for an entire weekend. I thought I was losing my mind.

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And in a way, I did. I lost every story I had that he was a bad guy. And instead, he could just be a guy that made a mistake. A guy that didn't have to be in my life, not even in the stories I tell. (funny enough, I tell the story now, but it feels completely neutral)

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This was the moment I took my power back. He no longer has any affect on how I feel. He doesn't take up any space in my mind anymore. I can be friendly with him if I want to. Or not. I choose.

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That's power. And that's the feeling of peace. Of freedom.

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This is what's possible for you. You don't have to hang onto any feeling towards your ex to protect you from feeling pain or from experiencing heartbreak.

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It's not protecting you from pain. It's actually keeping you away from feeling love, freedom, and peace.

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My wish for you is more freedom and more peace. It's the life you deserve.

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Your ex doesn't deserve to live rent free in your head or keep you doubting if love is possible for you.

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It's time to live in a place of possibility that you can have what you want. And you're strong enough to handle any pain or heartbreak that comes your way.

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With love,

Sarah

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